The 2025 holiday countdown has officially begun. On Thursday, Thanksgiving kicked off the five-week, somewhat stressful, journey through Christmas, Kwanzaa, and New Year’s Day. These holidays are filled with joyful and spiritual traditions. The period is also packed with stressful situations—finance, family, travel, loss, and loneliness.
Our Time Press spoke with Dr. Hollie Jones, Chairperson and Professor of Psychology at Medgar Evers College. She specializes in race-related stress, racial identity attitudes, and mental health among Black women. Dr. Jones is an advocate for utilizing the “reframing technique” to change how a person perceives a situation by shifting from a negative or unhelpful perspective to a more positive or productive one. To folks facing anxiety about the stressful pitfalls of the holiday season, Dr. Jones recommends utilizing pro-active tactics to analyze the stressful situation, focus on a positive outcome and reframe it.
OTP: What do you think is a major stressful issue that happens to people when preparing for the holidays from Thanksgiving to New Years?
Dr. Jones: I think that probably many people have anxiety around the holidays with regard to things like finances. When we think about the number of people who’ve lost benefits, who’ve lost employment. They are anxious or have anxiety around the fact that they may not be able to afford the things that they want to afford. It includes food. I would say that for anybody who might be food insecure to look around at the different food banks. A lot of places give away food for the holidays, like a turkey drive where they give out free turkeys. To use the Internet or to keep their eyes open on social media for those kinds of resources. To reframe their finances and maybe reframe what they’re used to spending. When we start talking about gifts, oftentimes if you’re giving a person a gift it’s because you want to show them that you care about them and you appreciate them. But, there are other ways of doing that. You can communicate, open and honest with loved ones about your financial situation this year and you can’t afford to buy the gifts that you bought last year. Instead, make a meal and invite your friends and family over to watch a film. Celebrate in a way that doesn’t necessarily involve exchanging gifts. Or maybe be creative and make gifts for each other.
OTP: Dealing with family during the holidays can be stressful for a lot of people. How do you advise them to handle situations if they know that there’s going to be conflict?
Dr. Jones: For family conflict, you should give yourself a boundary in terms of time. Reframe it by setting a limit on spending time with your family in cases where there is a lot of conflict. You can simply say, “This year I’m going to do something a little bit different. Maybe I’ll see you all on the Friday after Thanksgiving.” Or visit and have a little bit of turkey and have a toast. Say “I’m moving around and visiting some other people.” We all had roles that our families expect us to play in the family, including sometimes the role of a mediator or moderator. In cases where you don’t want to play that role because it’s not good for you, you simply say, “You know what, I’m not getting involved this time. This is not healthy for me. And so I’m not inserting myself into this conflict. And I encourage you all to try to work it out, but I’m now going to extract myself.” I think that when we think about holidays as individuals, we have to get over the hump perceiving ourselves as maybe not being connected to our families if we choose to not engage in whatever the dysfunction is. I think that we need to reframe it in a way to think about our own mental health and preserve our mental health.
OTP: During the holidays, some people feel isolated. How should they handle being a part of the holiday celebrations and not feel lonely?
Dr. Jones: There’s a saying “Not all family is your blood.” I had many friends who have chosen to either not be a part of toxic family situations or maybe they live in another state and they can’t make it to their family. So rather than isolate, they will ask friends what are they doing for Thanksgiving. If they’re willing to allow you to stop by. In cases rather than sitting alone in in your house is making you depressed, there are other things that happen on holidays. You can go and see a movie. Some people spend their day preparing their meals and then they’ll do something special for themselves. You might volunteer at a shelter. There’s a variety of ways in which you can show gratitude by serving others. They’re still participating even if they might be alone, as opposed to just sitting there and feeling sad about their situation. So they won’t feel sad, they are taking action and starting to reframe the holiday.
OTP: What about handling the sadness of the loss of a special person during the holidays?
Dr. Jones: This is difficult for many folks. Because if you’ve lost someone that you’re close to, you’re normally acclimated to that person’s presence. I encourage people to work on reframing would that holiday mean without that person. It doesn’t mean that the holidays cease to exist. To reframe the idea that while that person may not be there, because maybe they passed away or it was divorce or what have you. Then you can still have a positive experience. And they likely would want you to continue and carry on.
OTP: The holiday season is also travelling season. How do you advise people to deal with stressful situations caused by travel?
Dr. Jones: I would certainly advise people to try and make sure you’re getting adequate rest before you travel. Because the stress of travel can really be exacerbated when your body is not prepared. Pace yourself. If you are driving, you can plan to maybe avoid some of the traffic. Take it in stride. I would encourage people to remember the importance of breathing. There are a lot of apps that are free right now where you can download and engage in deep breathing exercises and meditation to keep yourself grounded. Also, make sure to plan ahead and have your medications with you and not in your luggage. There could be a plane delay and the medicine you must take is in your luggage. Also, make sure you have nourished yourself and take snacks with you.
OTP: You teach a popular psychology course at Medgar Evers College. How do you advise your students on handling stress during the holidays?
Dr. Jones: I give my students the same steps that I’m giving here on reframing. Prioritize taking care of yourself during the holidays. To recognize and remember some of the things that we’ve talked about in class around stress and dysfunction. Remember your cues to set boundaries. To think about what healthy coping might look like for you and what self-preservation and self-care might look like for you.
